all i can do is sigh.

it makes me feel left out, but there's nothing anyone can do about that. i can't expect him to change his life so it includes me. i can't expect him to replace his friends with me. it's not even official, and i'm starting to get the picture that it will never be. atleast not until we can drive. but that might be too long, and it will still never meet the standards it needs to, especially not for the way he feels. we talked about that for a long while. i'm just jealous that other people get to spend so much time with him when i don't get any. and it seems like i deserve some time with the way i feel. it's just disappointing, you know? i'm holding myself back from other people because of him, when we're both saying that it probably won't happen between us. i want it to happen, but if it's not, i need to know so i can get on with my life (not that i really want to...). i don't want to sound so negative about the situation though - i'm lucky enough as it is... even though i'm in a rut. but all i can do is sigh and tough it out. i know it'll turn out just fine.