For OC lovers, tonight is heaven. But for people like myself and Ben, who, just as I was, sits on his bed eating m&m's, it's not so great. Sometimes I wish that I could be into what everyone else is so I could get excited over little things that really don't matter. So I could be part of that world-wide "clan". I'm just not. I have my own quirks and odd things that I like, and I love them, I really do, but it's just upsetting that I can't seem to find anyone else to get silly about them with (unlike all you OC fans). I don't like this blog so far. So I'm moving on.

Today consisted of numerous random mood changes. The smallest things made me furious, and the greatest things didn't seem to affect me at all. It's almost like I'm regressing back into the familiar numbness of 8th grade, except it's different. Back then, I was numb but I noticed things. Now I feel like I'm completely oblivious. I'm still an observer, of course, but it's not the same. And I don't like that. I don't like this blog either.

I have dirt under my fingernails, my face is rough from sand, and my back is aching. I work too hard.

And I complain too much.

And I see what I have, and I appriciate it, but I never show that appriciation.

And I'm still complaining.

Signing off so I can go complain to the wall and not you. I don't want to be known as this kind of person.